“How the heck do you pronounce your last name?”

This is actually one of the MOST Frequently Asked Questions that I’ve gotten nearly my whole life, from various people.

Now, I respond to pretty much every variation of my last name, provided it starts with “Mole” or “Mawl.” I’ve heard Mollies, Mollis, Moles, Mo-LESS (which sounds regrettably similar to “molest,” as was pointed out to no end by all my classmates in high school), sometimes, if I’m mistaken for a Latino, they will try for Moyes, and once, while in court (as a police officer, ofcourse), I heard it pronounced Mollusk. So any combination of “Mol” and however you want to finish it off will usually get my attention. But what is the actual pronunciation? Moh-LAY. That’s a Long O, silent S, folks. Where does it come from? Well, legend has it that it comes from the fantastical realm of Ellis Island, wherein my forebearers probably said “Mullis” and what got written down was “Molles.” How the pronunciation changed to Moh-LAY remains a mystery. Maybe one of my grandads just wanted to feel fancy, or pretend to be French.

Did I just blow your mind with this one?